Women's Dictionary

1. Are you listening to me?! = I'm leaving you after this.
2. Do whatever you want. = Give me attention.
3. Do you love me? = Did I turn ugly?
4. I don't know. = No.
5. I feel ugly... = Tell me I'm beautiful.
6. I have plans tonight. = Leave me alone.
7. I'll be there in a second. = I'll be there in an hour.
8. I'm not crying. = I need you.
9. I'm not mad. = Of course I'm mad.
10. I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.
11. It's okay... = I don't like it.
12. I want new clothes... = ...and shoes, and jewelry, and purses...
13. Maybe. = No.
14. No. = Yes.
15. Yes. = Yes.
16. No. = No.
17. Nothing, really. = There's something, actually.
18. Sure, I guess... = No thanks.
19. There's a spider there. = OMG KILL IT!
20. Was that the dog? = Go downstairs and check for me.
21. We have to talk. = You're in trouble.
22. Where were you last night? = Are you cheating on me?