Stupid Instructions

1. Sears hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping.
2. Bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
3. Swanson frozen dinners: Defrost.
4. Shower cap in a box: Fits one head.
5. Package of a Rowenta Iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
6. Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
7. Dial soap: Use like regular soap.
8. Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
9. Japanese-made food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
10. Swedish-made chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
11. Sainsbury's Peanuts: Contains nuts.
12. American Airlines bag of nuts: Open packet, eat nuts.

Sources