Teacher And Student

Teacher: What is the formula of water?
Student: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O!
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Student: Teacher, yesterday you told us it was H to O!

Teacher: Why are there stars in the skies?
Student: Because famous people live up there!
Teacher: That's not true.
Student: Really? Does that mean there are no full butts [full moon] up there too?

Teacher: Use "lack" and "sloth" in a sentence, please.
Student: I never "lack" sleep, so I become a "sloth."

Teacher: How do you spell "internet"?
Student: I-N-H-T-U-R-N-E-H-T.
Teacher: That's wrong.
Student: But you asked me how I spelled it! So I'm spelling it MY way!

Teacher: So when you turn on a computer, you also push the "on" button to turn it off.
Student: What? No, that's not it! You push the "on" button to turn it ON, not OFF. Are you sure there's no "off" button?
Teacher: It's the "on" button.
Student: No it isn't.
Teacher: Yes it is. After the monitor is on, hold that button and it'll turn off.
Student: Why would I want to do that?
Teacher: Because that's how you turn it off.
Student: No it isn't.
Teacher: Yes it is. Push it, then you'll see.
Student: Why should I push "on" if it's already ON?
Teacher: It will turn off.
Student: Why?!
Teacher: Because that's how computers were made.
Student: Ok, stop. You're confusing me...
Teacher: Alright then, let's start over.
Student: So you push the "on" button to turn it ON. How do you turn it OFF?
Teacher: You push the "on" button.
Student: WHY MUST YOU CONFUSE ME, TEACHER?!

Teacher: How smart do you think you are?
Student: I is very shmart!

Teacher: What does 1 + 1 equal to?
Student: 11.
Teacher: Would you mind explaining why?
Student: Well, if you put the "1" and "1" together, they become "11"! I'm like so smart, huh?!
Teacher: Alright, fair enough. Now I want you to get that application over there. Fill it out, and mail it to the kindergarten class.
Student: OKAY!
Teacher: Wait, you know what. I'll fill it out for you. Just in case.