Sarcasm For Stupid People

1. "Did you see that?!" - No, Stupid, I paid $10 to come to the theater to stare at the floor.
2. "Were you watching where you're going?!" - No, my eyes were closed while I was driving.
3. "Are you gonna eat that?" - No, I'm going to leave it and let it grow molds.
4. "Guess what?" - I can't. I don't have ESP.
5. "Why didn't you tell me you were busy?" - 'Cause I was obviously busy.
6. "Can I ask you a question?" - Didn't give me a choice there now did you?
7. "Are we there yet?" - If we are, I would've parked by now.
8. "Oh did you want some?" - No, that's why I asked you if I can.
9. "Don't you wish vacation was longer?" - No, that's why I decided to waste my vacation.
10. "What's gonna happen?" - Now HOW do you expect me to know that?
11. "What are you watching?" - Would there be a difference even if I told you?
12. "What time is it?" - It's time for you to get a watch.
13. "Will you give me some advice?" - I doubt you would want to follow me.
14. "Aren't you going to help?" - No, because I would've helped out already.
15. "Don't you think it's hot?" - Of course not, I thought it was summer.