The Perfect Excuse

Say if I was late for school
And the teacher asked,
I would give him/her the lamest excuse
Just to get away at last.

An alien came into my house last night,
And I didn't know what to do.
He sucked the brains from my family
And wanted to eat it too.

The alien went back up to his spaceship
And was about to hover away.
I jumped into my homemade jet
To chase it down the way.

The alien then landed its mark on K-Mart
And was about to steal the shampoos.
I jumped out of my jet
And realized I forgot my shoes!

I flew back home
And couldn't locate my chucks.
I searched around the house
While thinking, 'Oh my god this sucks.'

I found my dad's slippers
And decided to put them on.
I went back to my jet plane
And found out fleas were eating my lawn!

I was like, "Shoo fleas!"
And the fleas jumped on me.
I was scratching everywhere,
Wherever they might be!

At last the fleas were gone
And I was able to be on my jet.
As soon as I turned on the engine,
I knew there was something I wouldn't forget.

I flew to my friend's house
To tell her something good.
But it was in the middle of the night
And I was hungry for food.

I flew back home to raid the fridge.
What made me mad was there wasn't any cheese!
I decided to go rob my nearest grocery store
But none of them were open for me!

As I was browsing the shops,
The same alien flew by.
I was like, "Oh shit!
How could I forget that guy??"

I chased after him
And shot him with my leftover gasoline.
My jet slowly started to fall
As the alien cried, "You're so freaken mean!"

He lost control and fell down
As my jet began to fall as well.
He fell onto the roof of my house
And I was like, "BITCH GO TO HELL!"

The alien ran away
As he left the brains behind.
I made a fist to him and said,
"BASTARD! That's what you get for taking our minds!"

I slowly put them back into my family
Thinking it's the right one for each brain.
By the time it was morning and time for school,
I asked my dad and he's like, "That's not my name."

I took another 2 or 3 hours switching their brains.
By the time I was done,
My dad and I both looked at the clock.
We were like, "AIYAH IT'S ALREADY 1!"

And now here I am,
Explaining all this to my teacher face to face.
She had this apathetic look on her and then said,
"...Just don't be late."