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What I've Become

I normally don't get mad at people.
I guess it started off when I was little.
Every time I get mad at someone,
That person tends to ignore me.
Then I ended up apologizing
And saying "I am sorry."
Years have passed and I was still the one
Who ends up apologizing.
I would get mad
And the person would walk all over me.
And still, just like that,
I am still the one who is "sorry."
Even I don't know why
There are so many people like that.
And each and one of them,
I am forbidden to get mad.
I've become unable to distinguish
What is wrong or right.
Because no matter what happens,
I am the one who has to apologize.
It's not like I can break that habit now
Since apparently,
I'm always wrong somehow.
And also at the same time,
I don't like fighting or any of those.
I guess if I'm ever gonna get mad again,
I'll just hold it in and keep it closed.
I know very well how bad that sounds,
But what can I do?
The table is always turned around
And you're the one who says
"I hate you."
Ever since then,
I've tried to stop blaming on others.
I couldn't tell if they are wrong
Or if I am.
This is what I've become,
Fucked up and all.
I guess it can't be helped
Because in the end,
The only person I can get mad at is myself.

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